BNN: Mysterious, Batty Old Woman Terrorizes Bank
By Saax Pannae
BNN Associate Reporter
Apr 4 2006 8:18PM
A mumbling, incoherent, perhaps drunk, old woman, Inu “The Crone,” wandered near the banks of Luna and Britain, reported several concerned citizens. She stared down startled pedestrians, and scared young children by rattling scorpion tails at them.
The crone refused to speak to BNN twice, using simple charms to convince your humble reporter to believe that she was a chicken and a goat, respectively.
“I was on my daily run around the city walls, and suddenly there she was in front of me with this really scary look on her face,” Jaydon McVerchu said. McVerchu, 19, is training to be a Keeper of Chivalry for the city of Luna. “It was like she was looking inside of me for something,”
Jeanette the Minter, a minter at the West Britain Bank, said the crone had been scaring away customers all day long.
“Usually we get hundreds of people coming through the doors night and day, but since she showed up a few hours ago, we’ve only had three dozen,” Ms. Minter, 26, said. “Well, sometimes they recall or gate right into the vault, but still, she’s scaring people away to the Cove bank. I mean, who goes there on their own?”
The Magister’s Office of Britain (MOB) claimed no knowledge of Inu “The Crone,” though a super secret source inside the office confirmed her identity as a native of the Tokuno Islands. She is known for spending a lot of time alone in the desert, translating strange texts and scaring children for fun and amusement.
The source had no information on how or why the Crone had traveled so far to do so little, but assured BNN that the MOB was busy getting to the bottom of this mystery.
Is this denial of knowledge true? Or is there an actual lack of knowledge, a by-product of incompetence? We’ll know soon.